Valkyrie's Aerie

Psst. It's ME.

Yep.  It's me.  I am the thong bikini wearer.   Hey!  All my other clothes were in the wash!

Stop the pop.

I am addicted to soft drinks. I love them. Too much. I am also diabetic, which means I shouldn't have too many of them. Love the fizz as the carbonated beverage eases down my gullet. I love Pepsi products, though not Pepsi itself, but I love Coke.

My favorite of the moment, though I really should quit the pop habit cold turkey, is diet Mountain Dew. Mmmmmm. The caffeine does me good and fuel me up for the morning. I like the green fluid as it sloshes merrily in the bottle

Pop is my worst dietary vice. Chocolate? I have a piece or two a week. Carbs? I have that under control, except for the pop part.

I just love it.

Five Vampires I Would Like to Stake

(No, not an euphenism for anything dirty)

These are all vampires from film that have annoyed me. Therefore, must be staked. (In film. Characters only.)

5. Craven from Underworld

4. Barnabus Collins ( A creepy vampire from a lame-weird supernatural soap called Dark Shadows)

3. Lothos from Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie (Rutger Hauer)

2. The rest of the Twilight crew, yes, even Bella

1. Edward

 

Five "Cougar" Songs

Five Great Cougar Songs

(As promised!)

They are also in no particular order. I'm not playing favorites! :)

1. Stacy's Mom (Has Got It Going On) by Fountains of Wayne.

2. Mrs. Robinson by Simon and Garfunkel. Ok, so it was used in The Graduate where the young man hooks up with his love interest's mother.

3. Maggie by Rod Stewart. A young man, led away from his home and friends, to grace a cougar's bed and to save her from loneliness. Meow!

4. All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You by Heart. Some lonely chick picks up a young man and...well..."plants" a seed with him. I am that lonely chick! So watch out, younger men! Someone is on the prowl!

5. I'm Hot For Teacher by Van Halen. So it isn't about a cougar, maybe, but it's pretty close It could work, being a little open for interpretation.

Lonely Soul

 

It feels good to ease someone's loneliness, to reach out and smooth out the sadness from someone's day. Loneliness isn't an especially painful form of sadness, but long term it really can do tremendous damage. Emotionally, it's hard. It can also take its toll on physical health. People weren't really designed to be alone, no matter how curmudgeonly an individual may be. We all crave affection of some sort

It really can and I should know. Loneliness is pretty insidious, creeps on a person and bites them in the ass.

It's good to help someone. To comfort them and to let them know they can choose to not be alone, even if it is just exchanging a few words on the internet. And, I find, it helps me. I guess it's not entirely altrusitic, then, but very few good deeds are. People always get some undefinable good feeling from helping others.

One of my long lost RPG buddies found me. He's been fairly lonely for awhile, and we've been IM'ing a lot. (Not tonight. Taking a break from that and the writing group.) I got him to join my new roleplaying group and we have been having so much fun, it should be illegal. After 3 and a half years, it felt as if we clicked together and that we'd never taken a writing break.

As for my own personal writing, I have been writing quite a bit. About 3 pages every day, but just haven't had the energy to do quality blogging. Between my writing group, World of Warcraft, and work, sometimes I don't feel like spilling my guts via blog. Ok, too much so lately. I do miss it.

And I do miss reading everyone's quirky comments!

I'll Work On It

I've been thinking in my spare time, which is increasingly rare nowadays, about my life and how I seem to have gone nowhere.

I've found out that I use the phrase, "I'll work on it" as a cop out. After all, it's a promise that I will work on it---later. Only later never really comes...it only turns into now. I guess if I tell myself that if I try to solve my problems later on, I'm still being proactive in self improvement.

Hmm. Yeah, it is a cop out, a way to defer the hard work I still need to do. I don't know if it's out of sheer lazy procrastination, or out of some long buried fear.

Live. Love. Don't fear. My MIND knows that, but it's hard to make my heart believe that it's possible to live outside the cage of my own construction.

I could sit here and say all that, but I'm not living it. I could say, "Oh, as soon as I lose some more weight, I'll work on finding true love. Or I'll work on my novel. Or I'll work on doing something other than make love with the unknown man in my imagination."

Unlive. Unlove. Fear like hell.

Hell is being trapped in the chains of depression, of thoughts that it's not possible to be loved, to be haunted by the violence of the past. To feel the panic attacks strike at work, feeling as if it's a heart attack about to claim life.

I've been working at controlling my panic attacks. They are rare now, but they still happen and they still scare me. Depression results as I think I have failed myself, given up on hope and happiness. I haven't, really, but I feel the mehs coming on.

The only thing that is keeping me sane is the writing group I am in. It is such a good outlet for me.

If you're reading this, just give me a little mental shout-out, please. Thank you so much!

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have. ---Abraham Lincoln

A Reminder of Why I Blog

Why did you start blogging?

As a form of primal scream therapy, to get in touch with what I really felt toward (slowly) resolving issues.

Have you ever wanted to meet a blogger in person?

Yes. There's about two I'd like to meet.

Have you ever met a blogger in person?

Almost. I'm not counting Saunya or Dustin.

Have you ever spoken to one on the phone?

Not really, unless you count a message left on my voice mail.

Do you have more than one blog?

Yes. I have a blog for my stories. Maybe I'll put up the rest of my Nano story

Where do your ideas for posts come from?

What I see around me, what I feel, what I experience. Writing (for a blog) is more than just putting down words; it's about interpreting and reacting to the enviorment around you. It is different than writing a story; I suppose blogging is a form of journalism.

Have you ever fallen for another blogger?

I did once and it was a disaster, so I'm really shy around other bloggers. It hurt, hurt, hurt.

How many blogs do you read?

Three or four blogs a day.

What do you like to read in a blog?

Everything to the mundane (if it is written well) to political to humor/horror of Corporate America.

Are there blogs you shy away from?

Hate or religious blogs, anything that is intolerant of others because those kind of blogs leave me feeling icky, like I have a mouthful of slimy soup skin. You know, the skin that is from letting a soup sit too long. I used to enjoy reading those kind of blogs, to fire me up for writing, but now I just feel sick looking at them.

Why do you keep writing?

I simply like to. Well, there is a need for me to reach out and communicate with others. I'm not a very articulate person, but I can write more eloquently. I feel that writing is an intimate form of communication, one that is underappriecated.

The Secret Lives of Bloggers

I look at my fellow bloggers' rich lives with envy.

Manuel has such a great life with his wife. Their love really does radiate off the screen to warm my heart; They are real and I can sense that. I can also sense the good, steadfast kind of love and affection they share. They have set the example for the relationship that I want; one based on mutual respect and admiration--even when they disagree, they still care about each other. That's increasingly rare in a society that doesn't value marriage--or people who want to get married.

Ananda Girl seems to live a life bejeweled with quirkiness and wonder. She has a marvelous imagination and a positive attitude. She rocks! That's a high compliment from me. She's like me--but happier, as of late.

Dmarks--Smart guy who actually puts forth interesting posts and postcards. He also seems to like Star Trek! I do too, the first ST show is by far the best. Though I like TNG, too. Deep Space 9----pppppphhht! And Voyager was pretty good for the first two or three seasons. Enterprise? What's that?

Night Panther...I haven't heard too much from him in some time. Hope he's busy taking beautiful pictures and getting away from the computer.

Unrulytraveler--Well, I think he has a good blog. Just wish he'd write more. He has some solid opinions and thoughts about current issues. From his latest post, it sounds like he's in the same place I am with my blogging; My blog muse is being a petulant brat-child, all laziness and suffering from indigestion of the creative gray matter.

The part of my mind that hates me says: What do I have to offer? I offer...well...an occasionally well written piece of bloggy goodness. I know, I've tried the themes....I will get back to Simpsons Sunday...it's just been crazy over here lately. I like discipline (Hold the smart remarks, please!) and crave a routine....I hate being jarred out of it, unless it is for the purpose of traveling across the country.

Screw the part of my mind that doubts what I have to offer. I offer plenty. Plenty of gentle affection, good writing and a smart ass attitude that doesn't take crap. Take that, brain! And anyone else who thinks I suck. (Yeah, Mom. Lookin' at you.)

The Five Best Covers (In My Opinion)

They are in order of my personal favorites.  Numero uno being my fave…but really, I like them all. Some are truly awesome.  Some are simply so powerful that I can’t help but like their rendition of the song.  (I got this idea from a friend at work.)

1.       Hurt by Johnny Cash.  This is pretty much his swan song, his last gift to his fans.  He knew his death would mean something to them and this was his way of saying goodbye.  The video is extraordinary in its clear message that all this will pass, not just Johnny, but all of us.

 

2.       Sweet Child O Mine by Taken by Trees.  I’m sure there are plenty of people that wouldn’t like the stripped down, non rock and roll version of this song, but I’m not one of them.  It was used in the remake of The Last House On The Left to chilling effect.

 

3.       On The Road Again by Metallica. I am of a meh mind about Metallica. Yeah, they are a legend, and they deserve to be, but their music doesn’t really strike a chord. (Ha ha. I made a punny.) This song, however, is like pure, raw, elemental power to me. I love it.

 

4.       Sympathy for The Devil by GNR.  Oh yeah.  I was introduced to this song via Interview With a Vampire.  It doth rocketh my world. Hardeth.

 

5.       Mad World by Gary Jules. There is only one word that can do this song justice. Haunting.  Well, beautiful too.  This is a great track to listen while gazing out the window on a day that has risen cold and rainy, with mist about the house, as I sip some hot cocoa.  (Except now I can’t drink hot cocoa.  Tea, I can have.)

Some Tidbits Before I Go …

My blood sugar tests out between 130-140.  Better, but not where it should be.  It’ll take a couple more months. Glad people seemed to enjoy my Unsucky Vampire Post, even if there was some disagreement. I will respond to e-mail. I will do a better job of it! I will respond to comments and also comment MORE on my friends’ blogs.  I’m pretty opinionated in real life, but shy in my online life. Go fig. Oh, this just in from a latest scientific research project :  Women are most likely to recoil in horror from ugly babies, even their own.  Guess the old axiom about having a face only a mother could love is wrong. (I’ll talk about Michael Jackson, but not right now. I am still bummed.  A major part of my childhood has gone.  I loved his music, and pitied him, rather than hate him.) Finally, in dumb ass criminal news… Clackamas, OR— A  man, who shall remain nameless---well, ok, I’ll call him Doofus McGee--- called 911 for having been shorted money by a McDonald’s. Said he was robbed.  The dispatcher told him that he could be arrested for dialing in an non emergency call and hung up.  The idiot called twice more before they sent an officer to pick the moron up.  Apparently, the dispatchers had realized that A) the caller was mentally deficient or B) they didn’t want to waste an officer’s time.  I’m going with the latter explanation. Well, I’m off!  To South Carolina!  Expect photos when I get back.